War Talk
by Jaganthunder
Summary: Yeah. I know, humor and drama in the same story is strange, but trust me, it's good. What if Ed, Al, Russel and Fletcher were in the Civil war? Contans some pretty funny parts about soup. Al and Ed are not brothers in this.


Jaganthunder: Me no own Full Metal Alchemist. And for the record, this was meant to be an English class assignment but I liked it so much… well here it is! Enjoy!

Warnings: Contains actual truths about the Union vs. Confederacy war. Also, talk about horse decapitation.

P.S.: This is my first FMA story.

War Talk

It was late at night and a small group of Union soldiers were sitting around the campfire, eating the small portions of food they were allowed. They had been in battle earlier that day, and were currently going over the events. The leader of the boys, Edward, was a very short boy with his golden blond hair tied in a braid. He knew the horrors of life because his father was fighting in the war on the other side and his mother had been killed by a rebel years before the war had even begun. He only joined to get revenge. However, he was currently caught up with worry over his younger sister Nina whom he had forced to stay behind under the care of their neighbor Winry and her grandmother. Another one was a scrawny boy with red hair at the age of nineteen and clearly the oldest. His name was Henry, but they all called him Red. He was easily scared; so needless to say, he never wanted any part in this war. Next to him sat the second youngest in the group, a tall, good-looking blond who lived on a farm. His name was Russel and he was always trying to do better than anyone else. He was also the voice of reason in the group. The shortest boy in the group was a one-time cheerful young boy who had snuck into the war to be with his brother Russel. His name was Fletcher. The last one was a shy boy by the name of Alfonse.

Henry: Wow, I can't believe it. I never knew battle could be so horrible.

Edward: Believe it. When you're out on the battlefield, all that matters is destroying the enemy.

Henry: Yeah, but…

Edward: No buts. There are no exceptions!

Russel: Calm down, Ed. There's no reason to be so snippy.

Fletcher: He's right Ed. Just calm down.

Edward: Calm down! How can I calm down when we are fighting people whom I know are just like us!

Alfonse: Well you're not going to solve it by taking your anger out on us!

With that Edward sat back down again. There was silence for a while.

Fletcher: What do you mean 'just like us'?

Russel: He means that many of them are just common folk who work as farmers and merchants like the rest of us. Also, some southerners don't want to be in this war in the first place.

Alfonse: That's right. They're just being forced to watch while their homes are destroyed and they can do nothing about it.

Henry: Then why even do this? It just seems so pointless!

Edward: It is pointless, Red. But that's how people settle things.

Fletcher: By killing each other!

Edward: By eliminating the competition.

They all went silent for a few minutes, while people screamed in the background because of the pain of getting their limbs sawed off.

Russel: So, does anyone know what happened to Marco?

Fletcher: Dead. I saw him lying face down in the dirt with his right leg missing as we were heading back to camp.

Henry: Probably got shot with a cannon.

Edward: Well, I'm glad Lieutenant Hughes is all right. I didn't see him at all during the fight.

Henry: Tell me about it. I don't know how he's always able to stay so happy at such times.

Alfonse: He hides it well, but it's there all right.

Edward: Probably figured it's just easier to pretend everything's still like it used to be.

Fletcher: That reminds me. Big brother, didn't Paul say he was going to enroll in the army? I haven't seen him at all.

Russel: You know him. Probably got cold feet at the last second and backed out. I can't really say I blame him though.

Henry: Whose Paul?

Russel: Some kid we live next to. He works down at the sugarcane store and is always letting the younger children have free samples behind his boss's back.

Fletcher: He's nice. I doubt he would've made it this far even if he did enlist.

Alfonse: Yeah, he'd have probably ended up like Alexander.

Henry: Who?

Edward: Old lefty.

Henry: Oh.

In all truth, Alexander wasn't that old at all. He was just called that because his face had gotten burned two battles back and he had caught some kind of infection from a scrape that had paralyzed his right hand.

Fletcher: Speaking of Old Lefty, where'd he go off to?

Russel: He's over there next to Lieutenant Hawkeye trying to eat with what mouth he's got left.

Edward: Probably doesn't help that the food stinks.

Fletcher: Yeah, I doubt even our cow Maribelle would eat this junk.

Henry: (Poking it) What is it anyway?

Alfonse: I think it's some type of egg and rice mix…

Edward: (Spits out his handful) What? I thought this was steak!

Alfonse: But I could be wrong.

Russel: Nah. Looks more like some kind of deer meat.

Edward: Ewe, gross.

Henry: What about the soup?

Fletcher: I think I might have seen a carrot in mine.

Russel: Looked more like a piece of a horses ear to me…

Fletcher: Or its liver.

Edward: (Glaring at the brothers) Alright! Now you guys are just starting to make stuff up!

Alfonse: Come to think of it, I think I saw Armstrong and Nash ordering some of the men to drag some of the horses out back behind the tent.

Edward: (Moans and sets down his bowl.)

Just then Colonel Roy Mustang walks over to them and starts messing up Ed's hair.

Roy: Eat up boys. You need to eat meat to keep up your strength. Especially you Edward. You won't get any taller if you don't eat much.

Normally Ed would have jumped up into the Colonel's face and start yelling at him, but today he was just too tired so he settled for sending him a hard glare.

Henry: Sir, did you really cut up the horses to make this food?

Roy: You boys shouldn't concern yourselves with such things. Now finish up and get some rest. You'll need it for tomorrow.

And with that, the boys all settled down and waited for the sun to rise the next day.


End file.
